Coming in since you pinged me on my old related thread.
Sadly, we never found a solution and have had to leave consolidation disabled.
If push comes to shove, my next step is going to be to abandon Ignition pipelines almost entirely, and script EVERYTHING. I would leave a simple pipeline that sends the alarm events to a script, and do all the other management myself. There are APIs to send Twilio messages and emails, which i would use instead of the built-in alarm notification pipeline blocks.
I really wish the built-in consolidation features could consolidate per recipient email or phone-number, and not per event or per pipeline or whatever it does right now.