I know that I can use Python's formatting to format numbers, but when you're trying to apply a "formatString" in script, it's not simple as you basically have to redevelop the logic inside the numberFormat expression function in script.
It'd be nice if there was an identical function available to use out of the box
It is java's decimal formatting. You can put it in a library script. You can even name it something.numberFormat(). 
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