To find the selectors, use the dev tools in a browser (ctrl + shit + i).
There's an element tab that allows you to browse the DOM, and a little icon that allows you to select a specific element to find it in the tree (or press ctrl + shit + c):
for example, if I want to target the reply button of your comment:
Now I know I can target the element with id="post_12" to make sure I'm in the scope of your message, then I can target the button with class reply: #post_12 button.reply
To apply css to it, you go to your css stylesheet (since 8.1.21 I believe ?) then add something like this:
you can add content with css, using content in a :before or :after. you could then add a background icons to it
in the example i do use js-injection, but only because it has te be dynamic according to the dropdown. you can make it fixed too depending on what its for.
like you could target every 3th element of a tree too, like in the original question