Raspberry Pi Build Recommendations

I am working on a personal project using Raspberry Pi’s and Maker Edition.
The issue is I am not a RPi person (first time using one), nor am I a Linux person, so I keep running into issues. I’ve found that some of these are due to compatibility issues with the ARM processors.
After resolving one issue, I run head long into another!
So I wanted to get some guidance from those of you who are experience in these aspects.
I have a RPi 4B that I want to run the Gateway on and a Perspective client. I would like to have a database running there as well to log & trend data.
Using the RPi, what OS should I use in this instance that will allow for max resource utilization as well as provide a platform to install the DB software? What DB software would be preferred? I’d think MySQL would be good, but with Ubuntu 20.04 on this RPi I was not able to get the MySQL Workbench to install.

Any help the community can provide is always appreciated.